Friday 30 December 2016

Still Single?


More Secrets Unleashed.


You are still single and you are wondering why your lady friends are getting married left and right. You now think that the spirits from the dead have conspired against you. Or maybe it’s that Okada rider that made advances towards you and you talked badly that he had to threaten you with a fist. Maybe he visited a witch doctor and spiraled some spell to blind men? Or is it the woman that you once abused…..Karma….but wait a minute.

How do you expect to sell like hot cake when you can down twelve bottles of beer and still manage to stagger home screaming? How do you manage to attract that handsome young man when all the time you are seen outdoors, you are in the company an army of mean chicks and local socialites?
What about your face? You walk around with a-face-of-morgue-attendant. As if you suddenly lost a million or got evicted from your apartment? I don’t mean that you should walk around smiling like a cartoon but when a guy says “hi”, at least have the courtesy to respond with a kind face. This could be followed by a word or two and before you know it, a phone call and then a date.


Let’s go back to that your army of friends. There are these girls that are never seen on the streets alone. They are always accompanied by someone. Now, you might not know it but men fear walking up to a lady-and I mean just one lady- to introduce themselves. Now, how do you expect him to walk up to a group of four, five or more girls? This one will call for psych from a bottle or some herb. Men know that those mean girls can really dampen a man’s ego; that is, if he gathered enough courage and made the move. A friend tried it, you know the way the Alejandro’s of the movies do? They walk up to a lady in a club, break the ice and suddenly everybody is laughing and chatting their lungs off? He tried it. We psyched him and he gulped down the last drop of his glass and walked into a den of lionesses and tried out a pick-up line. There was a sudden outburst of laughter followed by shrieks and sneers. What I remember is him coming back to our table, sitting down, mumbling some incoherent words and suddenly walking out of the room leaving behind his coat, which we had to pick up for him for he never returned. Believe me; no man wants to go there. Better keep your ego safe. 

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